ENOUGH IS ENOUGH
I always treasure friendships and always enjoy having friends wherever and whenever. But this time, I think I should given up one friendship. This is the first time for me to do it, actually.. and funnily, I feel sad but also feel good about it.
When the relationship is no longer healthy and one person feels hurt everytime they communicate but the other person is enjoying it and pushing too hard, then perhaps it's better to call it a quit.
I never felt very annoyed by a friend before. Not this much. Not until I met this psycho guy. Haven't met any psycho guy before, so I was quite shocked. We were just friends. But, too bad.. he had a really high expectation of this friendships. I felt that he became too demanding. I had to reply to his sms right away, had to answer his phone calls right away, had to meet him whenever he wanted and he was so clever as if it's always urgent to have that meetings on those particular dates! If I didn't reply to his sms right away nor answer his phone calls, he would send me bunch of sms-es with the contents that u wouldn't even think of! He would write angry words, full of judgement and negative thoughts. This guy is sooo pathetic!
Actually, I felt sorry for him. I think he has problems with his personality. He always think negative toward other people and doesn't have a grip of his life. Perhaps that explains why he always has so many troubles in his life... coz simply he created them!!!
People are addicted to have problems, without realizing it. When they don't have any, they seek for one. They feel empty without a problem in their mind. They don't feel alive. So, to make their life more excited and alive, they create problems. That's funny, huh? But, that's how we are, according to Dalai Lama... I had to think about this for a while before came into a conclusion that he's right.
Now, after realizing that it is us that tend to create problems in our life, I tend to take everything easily. Not to think about anything too much, coz I have a tendency to be bothered by small things :p. Just enjoy life... and cherish every moment of it... :)
As my friendship with the psycho guy... I've made up my mind to ignore him... and it feels really good, actually! Good for me. Hehehe.. Life is about choices. It's up to us to live in a peaceful life or in a troublesome one ;). Also with friendship... although basically every human being is nice, but there are some people who are just psychotic and enjoy hurting other people's feelings.
So, it's all up to us how to deal with them.. whether we want to keep the friendship although they don't know how to create a good friendship and keep hurting other people.. OR.. just walk away...
As for me, I've tried my best to see my friend's good side. I often share some wisdom words and my thoughts so that he could realize that the way he lives and the way he treats others are not favorable at all... but now... after sometime, I feel exhausted... let he learns everything from others... I've done my job..
Enough is enough. When our goodwill was always be seen negatively, just because the person was so closed minded, full of negative thoughts and insecurity.. then perhaps it is us who should decide and set up our limit.
I believe that every single thing in our life happens for a reason and there's a lesson behind it. As for me, I've learned my lesson. I learned a lot from this friendship. It also opens my eyes that psycho people do exist! hahahha.. I hope he could gain something from this.. and from the fact that I don't want to be his friend anymore... Hopefully, this would make him think and realize that all his problems and suffers were simply created by himself! Well, I do hope he gets more clarity in life, if he could open up his mind, of course! :p
La vita et bella... life is beautiful and it's too beautiful to be disrupted by some psychos... :D hehehe..
away day 
(continued)…
So, it took me more than 2 months to continue my story on “First Anniversary in Maverick” :D hahaha.. sorry. Was so busy at the office, didn’t have time to think of anything else. Had to be focused ;).
In the picture above u could see some faces of The Mavericks. The picture was taken in the “Away Day” event, couple of months ago at Ritz Carlton Hotel. U can see that we’re happy people, aren’t we? ;)
Ok, now… where were we? Ah.. okay. Besides from the learning process in Maverick, I’ve also felt some changes in me as a person. I’ve learned that we have to handle people differently, depends on their characters. So, I tend to be more careful in the way I speak to others now, not only the content, but the tone as well. I’m a straightforward person and prefer to talk frankly to others, but now… when it comes to criticism, I think that it’s better to be quite selective and find a smart way to address it… otherwise, people could easily get hurt and feel offended, especially those who don’t know us that well yet :)
It’s always interesting to try a new experience… in this case, working in a new industry. Previously, I worked in a securities company, dealt a lot with fund managers, treasury managers of big banks and those directors of pension funds and insurance companies. It was fun as well and I gained lots of insights and knowledge in the financial industry. But I think, working in a PR industry is more appealing and interesting to me. It's very much because I always wanted to be a PR consultant. Of course, everyone has their own interests… perhaps for those fund managers, working in an asset management or financial institution is much more exciting, not to mention the adrenalin rush when the market is bullish or the other way around.
For me, the excitement comes especially when I have to handle crisis management. I like it so much, although it means: overtime work, no weekends and headaches. :D But it creates satisfaction in the end. Perhaps it’s the same feelings as all the hikers when they reach the top of the mountain. You're tired, but satisfied.
Oyeah, I often surprised myself, even until now, that I've worked here for a year. It felt like yesterday that I arrived in the Balitung House and everyone else was a stranger for me. I think the nice working environment, the food (yeah, the Mavericks love and CAN eat a lot!!!), and the parties that we have to throw and attend, play a key role in making me feel comfortable here. Didn't I mention that as a Maverick, one has to attend to parties and/or networking functions in town, at least once a month? Gosh, I was so happy and felt relieve to know that! Coz some offices dislike when their employees attend to many parties :p. Hahaha.. I guess I’m quite lucky to work in a company who motivates us to be socially active. No need to force me to do that… hahahaha.. I’ll do it with pleasures ;p. So, all the stresses from the hardwork in the office are gone when we attend those functions! ;D One has to know when to be serious and when to have fun.
Ok. Enough saying now. Let's celebrate my 1 year-2 months-28 days in the orange house now, with the crazy, ridiculous, funny and lovable Mavericks! ;)
(continued)…
So, it took me more than 2 months to continue my story on “First Anniversary in Maverick” :D hahaha.. sorry. Was so busy at the office, didn’t have time to think of anything else. Had to be focused ;).
In the picture above u could see some faces of The Mavericks. The picture was taken in the “Away Day” event, couple of months ago at Ritz Carlton Hotel. U can see that we’re happy people, aren’t we? ;)
Ok, now… where were we? Ah.. okay. Besides from the learning process in Maverick, I’ve also felt some changes in me as a person. I’ve learned that we have to handle people differently, depends on their characters. So, I tend to be more careful in the way I speak to others now, not only the content, but the tone as well. I’m a straightforward person and prefer to talk frankly to others, but now… when it comes to criticism, I think that it’s better to be quite selective and find a smart way to address it… otherwise, people could easily get hurt and feel offended, especially those who don’t know us that well yet :)
It’s always interesting to try a new experience… in this case, working in a new industry. Previously, I worked in a securities company, dealt a lot with fund managers, treasury managers of big banks and those directors of pension funds and insurance companies. It was fun as well and I gained lots of insights and knowledge in the financial industry. But I think, working in a PR industry is more appealing and interesting to me. It's very much because I always wanted to be a PR consultant. Of course, everyone has their own interests… perhaps for those fund managers, working in an asset management or financial institution is much more exciting, not to mention the adrenalin rush when the market is bullish or the other way around.
For me, the excitement comes especially when I have to handle crisis management. I like it so much, although it means: overtime work, no weekends and headaches. :D But it creates satisfaction in the end. Perhaps it’s the same feelings as all the hikers when they reach the top of the mountain. You're tired, but satisfied.
Oyeah, I often surprised myself, even until now, that I've worked here for a year. It felt like yesterday that I arrived in the Balitung House and everyone else was a stranger for me. I think the nice working environment, the food (yeah, the Mavericks love and CAN eat a lot!!!), and the parties that we have to throw and attend, play a key role in making me feel comfortable here. Didn't I mention that as a Maverick, one has to attend to parties and/or networking functions in town, at least once a month? Gosh, I was so happy and felt relieve to know that! Coz some offices dislike when their employees attend to many parties :p. Hahaha.. I guess I’m quite lucky to work in a company who motivates us to be socially active. No need to force me to do that… hahahaha.. I’ll do it with pleasures ;p. So, all the stresses from the hardwork in the office are gone when we attend those functions! ;D One has to know when to be serious and when to have fun.
Ok. Enough saying now. Let's celebrate my 1 year-2 months-28 days in the orange house now, with the crazy, ridiculous, funny and lovable Mavericks! ;)
My First Anniversary in Maverick
Today is exactly one year for me as a Maverick. Time flies, huh? Yes, it does.
It means that I've spent most of my time at the Balitung House for the past 12 months. Working as a PR consultant. Interesting and exciting as I've never been working in the PR industry before. Enjoyable, in the sense of meeting lots of people from different background and industry. Fun fun fun... in the sense of building media relations with journalists, attending parties, throwing parties ;) and working in a such dynamic environment.
However, there is always a downhill along our way. That's when we have to deal with difficult clients, deal with gossips around us (hahaha... yeah, we can't getaway from those gossips, although we want to.. but hey, c'est la vie!) or when we make mistakes...
Although it's only a year, I've learned quite a lot and I also felt some changes in me as a person.... (to be continued)
It means that I've spent most of my time at the Balitung House for the past 12 months. Working as a PR consultant. Interesting and exciting as I've never been working in the PR industry before. Enjoyable, in the sense of meeting lots of people from different background and industry. Fun fun fun... in the sense of building media relations with journalists, attending parties, throwing parties ;) and working in a such dynamic environment.
However, there is always a downhill along our way. That's when we have to deal with difficult clients, deal with gossips around us (hahaha... yeah, we can't getaway from those gossips, although we want to.. but hey, c'est la vie!) or when we make mistakes...
Although it's only a year, I've learned quite a lot and I also felt some changes in me as a person.... (to be continued)
I'd like to thank Nugi for reminding me to start writing my blog again :)
It's been quite a while since the last time I wrote this blog. To be honest, I even forgot that I have one :P. However, there is a time when I feel the need to express my thoughts and feelings into writing... but unfortunately, I was too busy with my job .. or sometimes even worse, too lazy to do that :P
But ok, let's spare couple of minutes to write about anything I want and what's in my head from now on. I know that it helps me a bit to construct my way of thinking. It also makes me feel relieved when there's somethin' bothers me.. so, Nugi dearest, thanks ya! :)
It's been quite a while since the last time I wrote this blog. To be honest, I even forgot that I have one :P. However, there is a time when I feel the need to express my thoughts and feelings into writing... but unfortunately, I was too busy with my job .. or sometimes even worse, too lazy to do that :P
But ok, let's spare couple of minutes to write about anything I want and what's in my head from now on. I know that it helps me a bit to construct my way of thinking. It also makes me feel relieved when there's somethin' bothers me.. so, Nugi dearest, thanks ya! :)
"The More You Restrict, The More They Will Rebel"
Yesterday and the day before I stayed at my aunt's house. She also lives in Eindhoven. She has one daughter who is 18 years old. ABG. =) My aunt is very different from my Mom. She is quite conservative and strict, while my Mom is a cool mom. =) For example, she won't give a permit for her daughter to go clubbing with her friends, while my Mom feels fine with that. So, when I was still in the high school, I could go clubbing til late in the weekend and she never got angry, as long as she knew that I study during the weekday. She trusted me. She knew that her daughter needed to have fun in her adolescent age. =D How did I gain her trust? It was easy. As long as my grades were good and I was still at least at the top 5 in the class, she would be OKAY. She knew that I was always serious in what I did and thus she wasn't worried at all to let me go clubbing or hang out with friends.
She also trusted me to study in Bandung and knew that her one and only daughter could "take care" of herself. =) When I was in Bandung, sometimes I was shocked to see my friends that used to be "good girls and never went out at night" became so wild. Some of them even had a "drug addiction" problem after a while. I still remember one of my high school friends whom I met in one club in Bandung told me that she couldn't go out at night and couldn't go clubbing because her parents wouldn't let her. "So.. I really enjoy my time here and I go clubbing as much as I can", she said with a very happy expression on her face and a cigarette on her lips. As far as I knew, she didn't smoke before...
That night I was thinking of how dangerous it is to restrict your children in an extreme way, because once you're not there, they would do things that you forbid. Suddenly I felt so lucky to have such a cool Mom. I could go anywhere I want and told her about how fun the night was. =)
Last night, that kind of feeling suddenly appeared again. My cousin was planning to go to "I Love Indo" party with her friends in Tilburg, about half hour from Eindhoven. Normally, her Mom would give a permit if she went clubbing with ME. Unfortunately, I couldn't go with her. So, she had to lie to her Mom. She said that she would sleep at her bestfriend's house together with 2 other girls. When she said that, I was silent. I felt bad because actually I knew the truth. However, I said nothing. I felt so uncomfortable to see how my cousin lied to her Mom just for a simple thing. I didn't know why but I felt sorry for my aunt... on the other hand, I also felt sorry for my cousin because it seems that her life is so restricted so that she has to lie for the sake of having fun.
Again I realized how lucky I am. My Mom trusts me until now. These kinds of things have made me to think and decide that once I got married and have kids, I would act like my Mom. I don't want to be someone who acts more like a "police cop" than like a mother. I would give trust to my children as long as they could show their responsibility, as I don't want my children lie to me and do something bad behind my back. I think, if I act like a "police cop" and always say, "Don't do this, don't do that", then... at the end, I will not know my children's personality and behavior in the 'real life', outside the house.
I think, if we show trust to our children, it will create a sense of responsibility. This will avoid them to do "naughty" stuffs just for the sake of curiosity or just to "follow the trend" (an obvious example is drugs) and they will also respect you more than anyone else. They will trust you and will share their feelings and experiences with you... isn't it beautiful?
THE MOST ANNOYING QUESTION
This afternoon I called one of my bestfriends in Jakarta. Me and her have similar point of view about life, relationships and career. Thus, we always feel free to discuss about anything and to "speak up" our mind that, perhaps, other girls could hardly understand. =) Today, we talked about marriage. Hmm... both of us are kinda have a "marriage phobia", if I may say. =) It's true. While almost most of our bestfriends were already got married, both of us still... doesn't feel the urgency to get married so soon, although we both know that we're not that young anymore. But... who cares? hahahaha... =D (my motto is.. as long as I feel happy being single, nobody can complain !) ;)
She told me today that now her parents and relatives are pushing her with the "most annoying question" in the world, "When are you getting married, dear?" Although they ask her in a nice and polite way, still it doesn't sound nice in her ears (maybe you guys know how it feels...). I had the same problem, too, back in those days, before I went to Amsterdam. My mom, aunts, and even neighbours asked me that question ! I could only reply with smile =) and to one of my neighbours who has daughter, I replied,"Don't worry about me, I'll take my time. What about your daughter? I think yours should go first as she already has quite serious and very long relationship with her boyfriend, doesn't she?" Hearing me saying that, she said nothing more. Gotcha.
On the phone today, me and my bestfriend questioned : "Why do we have to get married?" Yeah, WHY? We burst to laugh when both of us thought that "It is okay not to get married". We agreed that if we talked about this to other friends, they might think that we're crazy. =P But seriously, do we have to get married? Why? Is it all about culture and religion? ...
What I don't like from Indonesian "culture" is that when you are in a certain age (let's say above 27), your big family will start to annoy you with the same question again and again and again... they will make us feel annoyed and push us to give the answer, if could, with the exact date perhaps. =P Then they will stop asking.
I'm just concerned that there is a possibility for people to pick someone to marry without thinking twice because of this annoying question and uncomfortable circumstances. As far as I know, it does happen in real life. Really.
Why can't people just be relax and stop bothering other people's life? We don't die if we don't marry someone, right? If we're single, doesn't mean that we're unhappy, right? Of course parents and the whole big family want the best for us, but... we are the one who knows what's the best for ourselves. As I told my younger brother, "No one can force you to get married if you don't want to". Yes, sometimes we listen too much to other people and ignoring our heart.
It is okay to get married if you're "ready". If you're not ready and still have some doubts, please... don't do that, otherwise you will regret. Remember, there are lots of divorced couples out there. This fact also reminds me to think twice and sometimes scares me when I hear the word "marriage". As Jovie, another friend of mine, said, "Why does it seem so easy for those people to say 'ok.. let's divorce!'?" Perhaps it was also that easy when they said, "Yes, I do". ;)
Anyway, I'm just concerned that how sick our environment is when it comes to the word "marriage". I think, the social and cultural background in the society plays important roles in building the insecurity feelings of being single when we are above certain age. Then, because of one doesn't want to be seen as "going out of track", one has to follow and take "the normal route", although he/she doesn't sure where to go or whether the route is right for him/her or not. What a shame.
I don't know how to change this and perhaps it's a bit impossible to change as it is part of our so called "culture". However, one thing that I know for sure : "I decide my own happiness... not my parents, relatives or friends. I will do whatever I want.. as this is my life". Perhaps it sounds a bit arrogant, but that's how I believe so far.
So, if I may suggest, "Don't feel obliged to do something if you don't feel like doing it. It's your own life. You rule, not them!"
"Enjoy your single life... " ;)
luv,
*NiLa*
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