as time goes by
I never known why I'm here
just remembering when I slept with cold
without any expectation for gold
I just need a friend
who talk to me without bluff
honest
passion
cheerful and peace
friend
is more valuable than anything
including you are
my friend, my nice one
by Totot, an old friend of mine :)
ConveyinG The RighT SiGnaLs
This time I wanna share something about conveying the right signals to other people. Do you guys notice that sometimes we convey wrong signals to other people and at the end those people get totally wrong ideas on what we want or how we feel?
I do that sometimes as well. For example, I was bored as hell in the middle of a conversation with someone but I still put a smile on my face. I acted as if I was interested to what he said, in which wasn’t true. I wasn’t even listening! It’s called pseudo-listening. And it’s not a good thing because the other person will think that we understand the topic and interested in it. It will make him talk even more about the boring topic. Oh no!!! Of course it will be the last thing on earth that we wish for at that very moment, aight? :p
I still remember one day I had drinks with my new friend. It was 5.30pm and we had nice conversations until we were hungry and wanted to grab something to eat. Then we went to a nice restaurant and had dinner there. Again, we discussed about everything, from books to philosophical stuffs. Quite a serious conversation actually, but it was nice. When I looked at my watch, it was midnight already! Wow, time flies and I had an appointment with my friends to go clubbing. Hehehe.. He wanted to join us as he claimed that he also loved to party.
But then, you know what… it turned out to be a disaster, because even in the club, he was still insisting to discuss about books and those serious stuffs! Topics that I didn’t want to discuss in a CLUB! Can you imagine, at 3am in the morning he was still trying to impress me with his intelligence, while what I wanted to do at that time was dancing with my friends?? Especially when the DJ was playing my favorite tracks! Oh my goodness… it was terrible! And I couldn’t say anything because I didn’t want to hurt him. So, I could only stand there, trying to listen to him and nodding once in a while, acting as if he was discussing something that could draw my interests.
Wrong decision!
I wouldn’t suggest you to do the same as it would only torture you. Well, sometimes I left him alone with my friend, while I went to see my other friends who were standing at the other side of the club. I did that couple of times, but he just couldn’t read between the lines. Yup. Sometimes people aren’t sensitive and cannot read between the lines. In that case, we should tell them bluntly on how we feel and don’t give wrong body language. Pseudo-listening isn’t recommended.
Last night my friend told me that he lost interest on his girlfriend. Yet, the funny thing is that his girlfriend had no idea whatsoever on what he felt. She was still feeling head over heals toward their relationship. *Some people just cannot read between the lines*
But, perhaps, could it also be because of he didn’t convey the right signal to his girlfriend? It’s possible.
He didn’t want to hurt her. That was the reason. That’s why he gave “wrong” signals to his girlfriend, acted as if he was still into her. No wonder his girlfriend got a totally wrong idea on how he felt toward her. Ooopsssieee..
Terrible. Indeed. I felt sorry for his girlfriend, and him.
So, I told him that he should be honest to his girlfriend. Of course it might hurt her, but it would happen eventually, sooner or later. The sooner the better. “And stop conveying the wrong signal to your girlfriend”, I said. Because it would hurt her even more when she found out that everything was fake.
From our conversation last night, I realized how important it is to deliver the right signal to other people. It’s better to say what we want and express what we think clearly. It’s ok to be straight-forward. As direct as as the Dutch. Hehehe.. I prefer that way. Especially knowing that some people just are not sensitive and have difficulties in reading between the lines.
We don’t want my friend’s experience happens in our life, do we? ;)
So, I try to keep this sentence in mind: “If I don’t convey the right signals, the right body language, the right message to other people, then I’ll be in trouble”. Ouch! Dangerous!
BaLi, LomBoK and GiLi TraWanGaN - SuMMer HoLiDaY 2006
Hey guys, I'd love to share some pictures of my summer holiday (yeah right, it's always summer here in Indonesia!) in Bali, Lombok and Gili Trawangan. I guess the pictures speak for themselves! ;)
If you haven't been to Lombok and Gili Trawangan island, you should try to visit these islands! Breathtaking views, untouched beauty... virgin beaches with white sands and mountains as the background of the whole picture... mmmmm.. imagine yourself being there! Definitely the perfect places to lay back and relax. Enjoy summer time, everyone... let's get some tanned! ;)
top: Dreamland, Bali
top: Senggigi Beach, Lombok
top: Mount Agung and the sunset view from Lombok
top: The boat that took me to Gili Trawangan from Lombok (it took 1.5 hours from the Senggigi Beach). So, this was the view when I just arrived in Gili Trawangan island. Beautiful. Definitely.
top: My favorite picture so far. Gili Trawangan.
top: Gili Trawangan's kids chilling out
top: The sunset and the rain next to it. Gili Trawangan. Amazing!
top: Gili Trawangan
top: It's me! hehehe.. *narcist* Last day in Gili Trawangan
with love,
"BEING 30"
Two weeks ago I became 30. For those who are above 30, you must laugh at my age and say, “Oohh.. you’re still a baby, don’t worry, dear.. 30s is wonderful”. But, for those who haven’t reached this age yet, you must be wondering how does it feel of being 30?
For a woman, being 30 is quite a big deal coz now we cannot say that we’re 20s anymore.
Some of my girl friends who are on the same age like me were worried by the fact that now we’re “that young” anymore. I guess, for me, it depends on how we see it and from whose perspectives. If you ask a girl in her 17, of course she will say, “Oh my God, you’re so old”. But if you ask a woman in her 40s, then she will say, “Darling, you’re at the best age of being a woman” ☺.
In my own dictionary of semiology, I see 30 as being more matured, sophisticated, more wise, still young.. .and also it reflects opportunities.
Matured because obviously I’m not a teenager anymore. Wise, because I’ve been through some precious experiences throughout my life. Young, because I think there are still lots of opportunities and lessons to be learned in life… and I feel young because I haven’t experienced them all..
I’ll take my time, as I will not pick fruit while it is still green…
I remember sitting in my bedroom before midnight on my birthday and thought about what have I done and happened in life. I felt blessed and grateful for all the wonderful things in my life, since I was a kid (of course I couldn’t remember how did it feel like when I was a baby. I think my memory of my childhood started when I was 3 years old. Still remember my 3rd birthday party, when I had “bisul” on my forehead because I used to eat too much eggs :P). I felt grateful for having lovely parents and interesting brothers (I said interesting coz both of them have totally different personalities and sometimes I have to argue with them on certain things), for being able to go to school in Jakarta til high school, for the 4 years of student life in Bandung, for the 2 years living in Amsterdam surrounded by people from all over the world, for the wonderful friends with different characters everywhere, for the achievements, jobs and everything. Also for the problems and difficulties in life as they taught me on how to deal with obstacles and make me wiser (amen!).
Every single thing is meaningful. Even in times of difficulties, I see it as an opportunity to grow myself. Of course sometimes I make mistake and have to pay the price for it. And it ain't easy. Or sometimes, some of us feel that we’re wasting time for doing something only to end back where we started. For me, everything happens for a reason. There must be something that I have to learn behind everything. The key is not to allow myself to be discouraged.
Always takes everything as a challenge and opportunity to become a better person, a better human being in this planet. A better friend, a better daughter, a better sister, a better colleague, a better partner (once I have a bf.. hehe!), as I believe that each individual action affects everyone on the planet. And I am what I am now also because of them. Although of course I have some basic characters, they take part in in building my personalities and characters as well. So, I’m very grateful for that. Thankful for meeting and interacting with everyone whom I’ve met and taught me about the beauty of life.
So, being 30 is a good thing, as it will provide me with more opportunities and unexpected things that might come along the way, yet with more clarity. And I can’t wait to experience what’s more to come… also to see more pieces of God’s elements in every single person that I meet…
For a woman, being 30 is quite a big deal coz now we cannot say that we’re 20s anymore.
Some of my girl friends who are on the same age like me were worried by the fact that now we’re “that young” anymore. I guess, for me, it depends on how we see it and from whose perspectives. If you ask a girl in her 17, of course she will say, “Oh my God, you’re so old”. But if you ask a woman in her 40s, then she will say, “Darling, you’re at the best age of being a woman” ☺.
In my own dictionary of semiology, I see 30 as being more matured, sophisticated, more wise, still young.. .and also it reflects opportunities.
Matured because obviously I’m not a teenager anymore. Wise, because I’ve been through some precious experiences throughout my life. Young, because I think there are still lots of opportunities and lessons to be learned in life… and I feel young because I haven’t experienced them all..
I’ll take my time, as I will not pick fruit while it is still green…
I remember sitting in my bedroom before midnight on my birthday and thought about what have I done and happened in life. I felt blessed and grateful for all the wonderful things in my life, since I was a kid (of course I couldn’t remember how did it feel like when I was a baby. I think my memory of my childhood started when I was 3 years old. Still remember my 3rd birthday party, when I had “bisul” on my forehead because I used to eat too much eggs :P). I felt grateful for having lovely parents and interesting brothers (I said interesting coz both of them have totally different personalities and sometimes I have to argue with them on certain things), for being able to go to school in Jakarta til high school, for the 4 years of student life in Bandung, for the 2 years living in Amsterdam surrounded by people from all over the world, for the wonderful friends with different characters everywhere, for the achievements, jobs and everything. Also for the problems and difficulties in life as they taught me on how to deal with obstacles and make me wiser (amen!).
Every single thing is meaningful. Even in times of difficulties, I see it as an opportunity to grow myself. Of course sometimes I make mistake and have to pay the price for it. And it ain't easy. Or sometimes, some of us feel that we’re wasting time for doing something only to end back where we started. For me, everything happens for a reason. There must be something that I have to learn behind everything. The key is not to allow myself to be discouraged.
Always takes everything as a challenge and opportunity to become a better person, a better human being in this planet. A better friend, a better daughter, a better sister, a better colleague, a better partner (once I have a bf.. hehe!), as I believe that each individual action affects everyone on the planet. And I am what I am now also because of them. Although of course I have some basic characters, they take part in in building my personalities and characters as well. So, I’m very grateful for that. Thankful for meeting and interacting with everyone whom I’ve met and taught me about the beauty of life.
So, being 30 is a good thing, as it will provide me with more opportunities and unexpected things that might come along the way, yet with more clarity. And I can’t wait to experience what’s more to come… also to see more pieces of God’s elements in every single person that I meet…
"Warrior Of The Light"
Every Warrior of the Light has felt afraid of going into battle
Every Warrior of the Light has, at some time in the past, lied or betrayed someone
Every Warrior of the Light has trodden a path that was not his
Every Warrior of the Light has suffered for the most trivial of reasons
Every Warrior of the Light has, at least once, believed that he was not a Warrior of the Light
Every Warrior of the Light has failed in his spiritual duties
Every Warrior of the Light has said "yes" when he wanted to say "no"
Every Warrior of the Light has hurt someone he loved
That is why he is a Warrior of the Light, because he has been through all this and yet has never lost hope of being better than he is...
*"Warrior of The Light: A Manual", by Paulo Coelho*
Every Warrior of the Light has, at some time in the past, lied or betrayed someone
Every Warrior of the Light has trodden a path that was not his
Every Warrior of the Light has suffered for the most trivial of reasons
Every Warrior of the Light has, at least once, believed that he was not a Warrior of the Light
Every Warrior of the Light has failed in his spiritual duties
Every Warrior of the Light has said "yes" when he wanted to say "no"
Every Warrior of the Light has hurt someone he loved
That is why he is a Warrior of the Light, because he has been through all this and yet has never lost hope of being better than he is...
*"Warrior of The Light: A Manual", by Paulo Coelho*
“IF I KNEW THAT I WOULD DIE SOON..”
Sunday, April 23, 2006 5:30am
Just got back from DJ Tiesto’s (the world’s number 1 dj at the moment, he’s from Holland) performance @ Pantai Carnival, Ancol with Ingkan, Sabrina, Nadia, Marthijn. Fifi and Eba. We had a blast there! Loved the music. Well done, Tiesto! ☺ You’ve entertained all of us here in Jakarta! (huehehe… as if he reads this blog :P, hey.. who knows!) ;)
I don’t feel sleepy yet. My eyes are still wide open. I feel like writing something, but there are too many topics in my head that can be discussed here. Hmm.. OK, let’s discuss about “death”.
As human beings, we are attached with some values, rules, ethics, etc. There are things that we are not allowed to do, or at least, people would consider it as a negative thing, or even a taboo. Things that can make us feel ashamed of doing, because other people think so.
In life, we care so much about pride, ego and image. What will people think about us, if we do …? This question pops up so many times in our mind now and then.
Now. The question is… what if you happen to know that you will die in two months?
What will you do then? I think, if that happens to me, I will do lots of things that I’ve never done before but always wanted to do (of course!, that’s an easy answer and I’m sure most people will have the same answer)
But this time, I will not write down all the things that I’d like to do in those short two months period, coz the list will be loooong :p. Hehhee..
I think, the most important thing to realize is that all of a sudden, the importance of keeping my pride and ego at a certain level is vanished! All of a sudden, I don’t care of what other people will think. I don’t care whether my actions will embarrassed myself and make my pride goes down to the lowest level. I won’t care.
For example, I will tell the guy whom I love so much, but never have the guts to tell him my feelings all these time only because I’m holding too much on my pride and ego. This time, I won’t care. Those kinds of things are not an issue anymore. I will soon be dead anyway. I’ve got nothing to loose. So, why bother about pride and ego?
I’m wondering, if everyone doesn’t really care about pride, ego and image so much, then the world will be a nicer place to live. Everyone will be more honest and sincere to each other, there’s nothing to hide, no masks to put on, everything is transparent. People can tell truth to each other (even if they’re corrupted! But if we go further, actually, they corrupt because they want to build a high profile image in the society. They want to be seen wealthy, although in fact they aren’t! So, if they can be proud of their true identity and accepted by the society just as they are… no different treatment or whatsoever in the society, then there’s no need to corrupt, they can be more honest to everyone… and most importantly to themselves..). People can express themselves better, for example, kissing the same sex on the street (so, the gay community doesn’t have to worry on the society’s negative judgment toward gay issues), criticizing the government without having the fear to be kidnapped or getting “warning” from the company that we work for being too vocal in criticizing the management, and so on and so forth.
If that happens, then I think the world will be livelier! I’m not talking whether everything will be more organized, but at least we can be more honest and the relationships between each human being is more sincere and pure. We listen to our heart more and act like a child, in the sense of honesty and purity. No tricky and mind games coz simply there’s no need to have one. Everything is transparent. Although sometimes it hurts to know the truth, but time will heal. Like a child, we cry out loud when we’re in pain, but after that, we stop crying and go back to the playing ground again. Start laughing with friends and new friends… discovering new things together with them.. or even alone.
So, why can’t we be like a child anymore? As time goes by, we become grown ups and busy with tight schedules. Our life suddenly surrounded by certain values, norms, unwritten rules. Things that we should and shouldn’t do nor say to maintain our pride, ego and image. Yet, back to the first question on this post, when your time is up, will you still bother about pride, ego and image anymore? Are these things still important to you as you’ll soon be dead anyway? …
Just got back from DJ Tiesto’s (the world’s number 1 dj at the moment, he’s from Holland) performance @ Pantai Carnival, Ancol with Ingkan, Sabrina, Nadia, Marthijn. Fifi and Eba. We had a blast there! Loved the music. Well done, Tiesto! ☺ You’ve entertained all of us here in Jakarta! (huehehe… as if he reads this blog :P, hey.. who knows!) ;)
I don’t feel sleepy yet. My eyes are still wide open. I feel like writing something, but there are too many topics in my head that can be discussed here. Hmm.. OK, let’s discuss about “death”.
As human beings, we are attached with some values, rules, ethics, etc. There are things that we are not allowed to do, or at least, people would consider it as a negative thing, or even a taboo. Things that can make us feel ashamed of doing, because other people think so.
In life, we care so much about pride, ego and image. What will people think about us, if we do …? This question pops up so many times in our mind now and then.
Now. The question is… what if you happen to know that you will die in two months?
What will you do then? I think, if that happens to me, I will do lots of things that I’ve never done before but always wanted to do (of course!, that’s an easy answer and I’m sure most people will have the same answer)
But this time, I will not write down all the things that I’d like to do in those short two months period, coz the list will be loooong :p. Hehhee..
I think, the most important thing to realize is that all of a sudden, the importance of keeping my pride and ego at a certain level is vanished! All of a sudden, I don’t care of what other people will think. I don’t care whether my actions will embarrassed myself and make my pride goes down to the lowest level. I won’t care.
For example, I will tell the guy whom I love so much, but never have the guts to tell him my feelings all these time only because I’m holding too much on my pride and ego. This time, I won’t care. Those kinds of things are not an issue anymore. I will soon be dead anyway. I’ve got nothing to loose. So, why bother about pride and ego?
I’m wondering, if everyone doesn’t really care about pride, ego and image so much, then the world will be a nicer place to live. Everyone will be more honest and sincere to each other, there’s nothing to hide, no masks to put on, everything is transparent. People can tell truth to each other (even if they’re corrupted! But if we go further, actually, they corrupt because they want to build a high profile image in the society. They want to be seen wealthy, although in fact they aren’t! So, if they can be proud of their true identity and accepted by the society just as they are… no different treatment or whatsoever in the society, then there’s no need to corrupt, they can be more honest to everyone… and most importantly to themselves..). People can express themselves better, for example, kissing the same sex on the street (so, the gay community doesn’t have to worry on the society’s negative judgment toward gay issues), criticizing the government without having the fear to be kidnapped or getting “warning” from the company that we work for being too vocal in criticizing the management, and so on and so forth.
If that happens, then I think the world will be livelier! I’m not talking whether everything will be more organized, but at least we can be more honest and the relationships between each human being is more sincere and pure. We listen to our heart more and act like a child, in the sense of honesty and purity. No tricky and mind games coz simply there’s no need to have one. Everything is transparent. Although sometimes it hurts to know the truth, but time will heal. Like a child, we cry out loud when we’re in pain, but after that, we stop crying and go back to the playing ground again. Start laughing with friends and new friends… discovering new things together with them.. or even alone.
So, why can’t we be like a child anymore? As time goes by, we become grown ups and busy with tight schedules. Our life suddenly surrounded by certain values, norms, unwritten rules. Things that we should and shouldn’t do nor say to maintain our pride, ego and image. Yet, back to the first question on this post, when your time is up, will you still bother about pride, ego and image anymore? Are these things still important to you as you’ll soon be dead anyway? …
JUST F.R.I.E.N.D.S
A lot of time, girls say “Let’s just be friends” to guys as a rejection of their proposal. For me, when I say it, I really mean it. I really mean to be his friend and from my point of view, it’s better that way: pure friends, no romance involved. Unfortunately, some guys can’t face the reality; they remain silent and then disappear from my life. That’s a pity.
When I say, “Let’s just be friends”, it means that I’m not attracted to him in many ways – it can be physically, emotionally, etc. I don’t feel like seeing him everyday, missing him, nor addicted to him. Also don’t have the passions to kiss, hug him, etc. No way.
A relationship with a guy in the “Just Friends” box can get complicated when he can’t accept the fact that I don’t want to be his girlfriend. Some guys can be very obsessive and it’s scary. This type of guy feels more challenged when a girl rejects him. As a result, he can send us sms hundred of times a day, call us up thousand of times a day, and when we don’t pick up the phone, he will keep on trying. The worst thing is that he becomes your stalker. Ouch!!!
For this type of guy, it’s very obvious that I can’t stand to be his friend coz he’s simply annoying and scares me as hell. So, how do I react and feel to this obsessive type of “Just Friends”?
• Don’t reply to his sms
• Don’t pick up to his phone calls [maybe I will pick it up once, but not ALL his phone calls]
• Find excuses for any dinner or lunch invitation
• Don’t sound excited on the phone
• Feel annoyed and disturbed
• As much as I can, I don’t want to be in touch with him
• If his behavior is getting worse, I’ll be frank to him and say that he’s already disturbing and it’s better not to contact me anymore [am good at it]
• Will ask him to find a girlfriend or potential gf and stop bothering me.
On the other hand, if the guy can accept the reality and take my offer to be friends, this is how I will react and feel:
• Will be happy to see and share any stories with him
• Will be friendly on the phone
• Will be a good listener for him as well and provide counsel in love department whenever he needs it
• Will treat him as a good friend of mine
• Will respect him for his BIG heart
• As time goes by, I’ll mention about whose inside my Potential Boyfriend box and ask his opinion. It won’t hurt him anymore as he already becomes my best friend
So, as we can see, it’s better off to accept the reality, as we will not loose a friend. Instead, we’ll get a new best friend whom we can share our thoughts with.
Usually, guys don’t realize that their behaviors influence the way the girls’ treat them. Hopefully, the examples above make us realize that all we need is a BIG HEART. Having a big heart enables us to cherish the friendships, without wanting to have more out of it. It simply enables us to see a person from a different perspective… and it’s wonderful, you’ll see ☺.
It also works for me if a guy in the Potential Boyfriend box apparently doesn’t worth it. As I mentioned before, I will move him to the “Just Friends” box right away. By seeing him as a normal friend, my heart feels much more at ease. I don’t wait for his phone calls/sms/email anymore. It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t contact me. Just like our friends, we will be happy to talk to them, but they don’t have to call us everyday, right?
So, hearing no news from him is no longer a torture for me. And I feel really good about it. I’ve made a good decision, I think ☺. At the end, I can admire him truly as a friend and feel grateful for that. It means that now I can see him from a different angle… which is much more pleasurable… ☺. Believe me.
So, Potential Boyfriend-Toy Boy-Just Friends, which one is the most difficult to handle? ;)
My answer will be: the Potential Boyfriend. Potential Bf absorbs my attention and energy at most. He can make my world turns upside down, which is not funny at all, if am not in the mood for taking a roller coaster ride. He can make me feel ‘head over hills’ if I know that he has the same strong feelings toward me. Which is a great feeling to have, of course! He can easily turn me down, however, only by a small unfavorable thing that he does. It’s quite exhausting. So, I have to be in a good condition, emotionally, to be able to handle these kinds of stuffs. If he’s really worth all the dizziness, then I’ll take my roller coaster ride ☺.
Well then, I have to excuse myself now. Hopefully the last three posts can entertain everyone who reads it! Take it easy… ☺
When I say, “Let’s just be friends”, it means that I’m not attracted to him in many ways – it can be physically, emotionally, etc. I don’t feel like seeing him everyday, missing him, nor addicted to him. Also don’t have the passions to kiss, hug him, etc. No way.
A relationship with a guy in the “Just Friends” box can get complicated when he can’t accept the fact that I don’t want to be his girlfriend. Some guys can be very obsessive and it’s scary. This type of guy feels more challenged when a girl rejects him. As a result, he can send us sms hundred of times a day, call us up thousand of times a day, and when we don’t pick up the phone, he will keep on trying. The worst thing is that he becomes your stalker. Ouch!!!
For this type of guy, it’s very obvious that I can’t stand to be his friend coz he’s simply annoying and scares me as hell. So, how do I react and feel to this obsessive type of “Just Friends”?
• Don’t reply to his sms
• Don’t pick up to his phone calls [maybe I will pick it up once, but not ALL his phone calls]
• Find excuses for any dinner or lunch invitation
• Don’t sound excited on the phone
• Feel annoyed and disturbed
• As much as I can, I don’t want to be in touch with him
• If his behavior is getting worse, I’ll be frank to him and say that he’s already disturbing and it’s better not to contact me anymore [am good at it]
• Will ask him to find a girlfriend or potential gf and stop bothering me.
On the other hand, if the guy can accept the reality and take my offer to be friends, this is how I will react and feel:
• Will be happy to see and share any stories with him
• Will be friendly on the phone
• Will be a good listener for him as well and provide counsel in love department whenever he needs it
• Will treat him as a good friend of mine
• Will respect him for his BIG heart
• As time goes by, I’ll mention about whose inside my Potential Boyfriend box and ask his opinion. It won’t hurt him anymore as he already becomes my best friend
So, as we can see, it’s better off to accept the reality, as we will not loose a friend. Instead, we’ll get a new best friend whom we can share our thoughts with.
Usually, guys don’t realize that their behaviors influence the way the girls’ treat them. Hopefully, the examples above make us realize that all we need is a BIG HEART. Having a big heart enables us to cherish the friendships, without wanting to have more out of it. It simply enables us to see a person from a different perspective… and it’s wonderful, you’ll see ☺.
It also works for me if a guy in the Potential Boyfriend box apparently doesn’t worth it. As I mentioned before, I will move him to the “Just Friends” box right away. By seeing him as a normal friend, my heart feels much more at ease. I don’t wait for his phone calls/sms/email anymore. It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t contact me. Just like our friends, we will be happy to talk to them, but they don’t have to call us everyday, right?
So, hearing no news from him is no longer a torture for me. And I feel really good about it. I’ve made a good decision, I think ☺. At the end, I can admire him truly as a friend and feel grateful for that. It means that now I can see him from a different angle… which is much more pleasurable… ☺. Believe me.
So, Potential Boyfriend-Toy Boy-Just Friends, which one is the most difficult to handle? ;)
My answer will be: the Potential Boyfriend. Potential Bf absorbs my attention and energy at most. He can make my world turns upside down, which is not funny at all, if am not in the mood for taking a roller coaster ride. He can make me feel ‘head over hills’ if I know that he has the same strong feelings toward me. Which is a great feeling to have, of course! He can easily turn me down, however, only by a small unfavorable thing that he does. It’s quite exhausting. So, I have to be in a good condition, emotionally, to be able to handle these kinds of stuffs. If he’s really worth all the dizziness, then I’ll take my roller coaster ride ☺.
Well then, I have to excuse myself now. Hopefully the last three posts can entertain everyone who reads it! Take it easy… ☺
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