I realize that I’m having a difficulty in trusting men. Especially in the last couple of months. A lot of people said that all men are jerks. Before, I wouldn’t take this phrase seriously coz I believe that we shouldn’t make a generalization out of it. But these days, I started to believe that all men are jerks. Even though I wanted so hard to think the opposite.
A conversation with my kindergarten friend had shocked me a month ago. Apparently, many guys around us weren’t as innocence as we thought they were. Living in a big city with having a well-paid job is obviously has its own temptation. Yes. Temptation = Girls. What else?
I think, men just can’t resist the temptation of seeing nice, pretty, sexy girls around them, even though if they already have partners. They’re like animals. They just follow their instincts. Sex, is all they wanted.
What a shame. My friends’ and my own life experiences have taught me that it was difficult to find a loyal man. Someone that is loyal to his/her partner. Even a very nice guy that I’m least expected to be unfaithful is also doing the same thing. And they will do and try EVERYTHING to get you.
A conversation with Olivier through MSN, while I was packing my stuff on my last night in Singapore, provided me with a strong confirmation that all the guys want in this world is freedom. They will run away from you if you try to lock them in your cupboard. Perhaps it’s true that if you love someone you’ve gotta set them free.
But, how free? Isn’t that if we’ve committed to someone we can’t be as free as a bird anymore?
Olivier then shared his friend’s experiences. A couple. Out of the blue, the guy told his girlfriend that he wanted to have sex with other girls. Of course the girl was shocked. But then, eventually, they decided to give freedom to each other, meaning that they can have sex to anyone they want. (Hmm.. it reminded me of a story in Paulo Coelho’s book, titled “The Zahir”)
Anyway, in the end, this couple lives a happy life. Both of them are satisfied with their relationship. I don’t know whether you can call it a healthy one, but at least it works and both of them are very transparent about it. Well, it’s not something new, I know. I’ve heard about these things many times, but it’s just hard to imagine having such a relationship. And perhaps, I just don’t want one. There it goes, another true story that freaks me out about relationship and commitment.
Couple of days ago, another friend told me her story. She had a crush with a guy who lives in a different part of the world. When they finally met after months, she found out that the guy was cheating on her. Of course we can’t blame the guy nor the girl as long distance relationship has always been an issue for thousands of couples in the world. But, she just didn’t expect that a guy that she thought would be the nicest guy on earth could turn out to be just the same as those guys out there: jerks, unfaithful. He even dared to ask the girl to make love with him after telling that he has been seeing (and still) another girl! Gosh! What a story!
On the closing of her email, she wrote me this beautiful paragraph:
"Thank God for showing me this before everything is too late. Before I’m falling into a deeper love hole. Thank God that love isn’t there yet. Thank God that we’ve separated hundreds miles and that what made us apart. Thank God that when I see him now, I can see him from the other side of the fence. Thank God for showing me the light…" :)
I think what she wrote is wonderful. She still could see the positive side of her sadness. And for this, I envy her.
Maybe it’s true that most guys are jerk. So, girls, let’s not give them 100% of our trust or else we’ll be ended up smashed in little pieces. Again, as I said in the beginning of this post, it’s kinda sad to say it coz I really want to believe that not all them are bad/jerks. But hey, THEY ADMIT it themselves. So? Well, I guess, the lesson learnt here is that I just have to be very careful in choosing a guy to be my partner as there are only few of them that can be trusted. *sigh* Ah well… Isn’t our life so colorful and complicated? But, let’s think from this perspective: If it only has one color, then it will be a boring one… :)