Today me and Mom went to the beach to throw some flowers for our loved ones.
As I wrote in my earlier post, today is supposed to be Morgan's 37th birthday and 14th year commemoration of my Dad's death.
Dad always told me that he wanted to be cremated once he passed away. And he wanted us to scatter his ashes to the sea. He was Buddhist and he believed in reincarnation. Throwing ash to the sea helps the spirit to be free and goes directly to God, because the body is no longer attaches to the earth.
He also said that by throwing his ash to the sea, it would reduce the sadness whenever the family wanted to visit him. Going to the beach is indeed more fun than going to a graveyard. I still remember he said, "I want everyone to have fun whenever you guys visit me. Don't be sad. Just enjoy the beach and have a good time".
14 years ago, he passed away and we cremated him. One of our relatives told Mom not to be surprised if there was something unusual happened on that day, such as: she might see an animal or something. Indonesians are very superstitious and with a combination of Buddhism's believes, my uncle told her that the animal (or could be in other form) could represent my Dad’s spirit who wanted to say goodbye.
Then when she was praying at the crematorium, a white butterfly flew around her body and laid on her thigh. It flew away as soon as she finished her prayer. She was touched. Perhaps Dad wanted to say goodbye…
When my sister in law gave birth, on the critical moment, Mom, my big brother and his wife, saw a white butterfly flying around in that room! A butterfly in a sterilized hospital room? How odd could that be?
So, this morning… it was very quiet and peaceful there. In the middle of the sea. We threw flowers and sent our prayers. A blue sky and a soft wind breeze made it such a beautiful morning.
We stayed silent for a while. I cried a lot. I really missed you, babe. I really wished you were here. But, seeing the bright and blue sky, with beautiful clouds as white as cottons, I tried to assure myself that you’re having a good time up there. I’m sure it must be more beautiful there than here.. and that’s why you’d love it.
Then our boat started to sail again. Brought us back to the beach. And that’s when I saw two butterflies flying… at the back of our boat… Those two butterflies followed us until we reached the beach.. as if they guided us til we arrived safely to the land…
Mom was very touched. Her body was shaking and she burst out to cry (again).
Whether those two beautiful butterflies were you and Dad, I don’t know. But what I know for sure is that I have two guardian angels now. My lovely Dad and you, my gorgeous boyfriend.